The Glamour Model Debate Minutes

by Conor T. Keane

Recording Secretary

And so it was once more, once more, that the Auditor and Rec Sec bore the brunt of the crowd auditory glór, the chorus of voices screaming resign as we walk through that door.

Another week, another score, debates to be held logic brought to the fore.

Another week.

Once more

Once more.

And so it was, dear friends, that we gathered here in the Kirwan temple, on this the Day of Arthur, (whoever the Hell he was) to debate the merits of bountiful babes with assests galore, be they silicone or synapse.

However, as is tradition, The LitnDeb's answer to Shane McGowan;

{Shane Mc Gowan}

Auditor Conor X. Kelly invited cries from the floor for Private Members Time.

The gauntlet was cast by Final Civil Law's George Kaar who brought us the motion:

That This House Would Boycott Guinness

and a cry arose from the floor, some of them slurred by Arthur's liquid influence as George told us of the evils of Arthur Guinness and his legacy, one of debauchery and alcoholism that has haunted the Irish people since time immemorial.

He urged us to boycott Guinness especially for the travesty known as

Arthur's day, a made up holiday dedicated to fooling the innocent and the ignorant into drinking to a man who never helped another in his life.

In short, he told us that Guinness was not to celebrated but rather vilified for being a definitive factor in the Irish Stereotype.

{DrunkPaddy}

Ronan Fitzpatrick (Final Science) told us that who cares who sets holidays? A company and a religion are basically the same thing, ie entities which take advantage of the week and screw them for every cent they have.

Arthur's day is good for the country as it raises public morale, because times are bad and that sometimes we need to relax or we'll snap , much like a cheap watch or Mike Douglas in the Movie falling down

[Mike Douglas and Frank Grimes]

He told us all to lighten up and take it easy, it's not like we can fight Diageo anyway,

Conor Keane (Final Civ Law and Teetotaller General) told us all that we shouldn't revere a substance that could be classed as the toxin of the nation, a crutch that we have relied on to bolster our social skills out of fear.

I told you that the Irish has suffered for over 800 years

{Michael Collins and Evil Britain}

and that we did not need to add to the global stereotype that has haunted us for centuries. I also told you that we do not nor should we celebrate a man who was a Protestant Unionist rich industrialist who probably evicted orphans while twisting his moustache, twirling his cane and getting his jollies of a daggeurograph of Queen Victoria showing her ankles.

[Q Vic}

I also told you that we need to be more confident in ourselves and that if we needed a day to celebrate that it shouldn't be to a corporate God. We are a country which regrets too much as evidenced in our forgotten 1916 heroes who are cast to the dark annals of history.

We need a day of celebration of the Irish spirit, one that has survived war, famine and emigration to becoming a well loved, well educated and well regarded people. We need to celebrate ourselves and not some drug dealer in a top hat.

{pimp}

Cian O Moráin (Final BA in Legal Science and History_ said we should give Guinness a clap for the masterful marketing ploy they have pulled. That this is a good thing as it will boost sales and exports (because Daniel of Donneell records are not selling anymore) and that a day of celebration os needed in these dark days of recession,l depression and Reality television.

Jason Brown (Arts) told us that nations should celebrate the attributes of their people and that Irish are champion drinkers so lets celebrate that.

Drunk Irish}

John O'Malley (Postgrad in Engineering) said we won't drink less so lets go to town, we deserve it. It's good for the country and good for us all.

Eimear Spain (Physics) asked us to think of the poor bartenders, like herself, who have to clean the toilets after the champion drunks of Europe are done for the eve. She also told us, that as Guinness' chemical composition is 99% laxative that we shouldn't be overindulging.

They don't call it the Black Stuff for nothing folks.

With that the main points were summated and the Godless drunken, namby pamby pinko-liberal drunks of the audience voted against the motion. Discipline was declared dead as people escaped to the pub to annoy us all with talk of the faux holiday.

It's ok folks, you can take me off your Arthur's Day card lists for next

year.

You know what' s great? A fully functioning liver.

But I digress.

This House Believes that Glamour Models are Good Role Models for Young Women

Main Business for the evening was to come and as the speakers took their seats, a calm hush fell over the room as the collected feminists focused their collective distrust of the testeed as the first speak took the podium

Angry Feminists

Robert Cassidy (Political Consultant) dodged the feminray and told us that Glamour Models are good role models in modern society.

Firstly he told us that Glamour modelling is a job that rewards success like any other, with very high wages for those who succeed with the average wage being well in the 60k mark

He told us that the role of a role model was to act as an advocate and use their fame to do good in the world. Sad fact of life but a celebrity glamour model will always be more listened to than a middle aged manageress when it comes to holding public attention. Celebrities intrigue us and we often put stock in what they say. Claire Tully for example is a vocal advocate and fund-raiser for AIDS research and that she would not be as effective if not for her fame.

In the end, a role model is there to inspire confidence in a person to achieve what they want to achieve. Glamour models do this like doctors, lawyers and politicians the world over.

Vincent Lacey HLM) told us that Glamour models are inherently bad role models for our young women.

He told us that the industry is nothing more than a business of objectification, one where unscrupulous agents and papers take advantage over the naïve and the innocent in order to bolster sales with a pretty face. It's not about equal treatment or equality but rather the facilitation of titillation

He told us that the whole industry is shameful, sexist and degrading and one that damages young women who are lead to believe that only the beautiful and buxom can be successful. This is degrading and should not be tolerated any more.

Ronan Fitzpatrick told us than men love breasts, will do anything for breasts and are in favour of, guess what, breasts utilising host of colloquialisms for the mammaries of the fairer sex.

He also told us that women have been the classic exploiters of man since the Virgin Mary convinced Joseph that it was God who knocked her up.

Mary and Josepgh

Furthermore, fame is the catalyst to which anyone can convey their views with a reasonable expectation that they will be listened to. Why is this a bad thing? This is how society works and condemning glamour models will not fix this.

Also, middle class role models are all well and good if such opportunities are available to you. However for some, such jobs either do not interest them or are out of their capacity. Why should they be left to languish in menial Tesco jobs when they can take a risk?

In short, fame is not an issue, nor is it something to be condemned.

Eoghan Casey (Euros Champion)

Eoghan told us, in his ginger hued wisdom that we really shouldn't be clapping for exploiters when so many women are torn apart by this evil industry.

The intellect of women is no longer valued and this is something we should think abhorrent. The implication of the industry is that women are lead to believe that beauty is the only trait important to success in society. This is so unfair.

Furthermore, magazines like Nuts and Zoo allow for young men to be corrupted into mini-misogynists, which kinda sound like perverted midgets in that porno the Auditor was going to watch the other night.

{Pirate Conor}

They're concept of the value of women is destroyed and replaced by the notion that women are objects to be oogled, owned and degraded.

In short, women are made feel ashamed for the possession of an intellect.

This is bad and we should not laud this.

Catherine Kane (Arts) told us of the dangerous societal implications of glamour models, telling us how women are coerced into eating disorders and damage their health beyond measure, while also causing major psychological harm.

Shane Commins (Arts) berated the speakers for making jokes n both sides of the House, saying that its undermines you argument when you fight for gender equality yet make boob jokes in the same breath.

Shane White told us that only the negative aspect is ever looked upon and the good work that glamour models do is never spoken of.

James McGlynn (Arts) told us that some women have it all in the way of aesthetic assests but that this is not something to be celebrated. Instead we should all value a person's personality, not just the size of the breasts or other pleasing physical factors, nothing says rawr like a oval shaped ear lobe.

Maurice Cotter (Masters in Human rights), who was made fun of terribly by me (Pictur)k told us that one massive right is missing from Women and that is equality. He told us that it is terrible that we are surprised that a woman like Claire Tully has a 1st Class Degree from Trinity because deep down we think these women stupid, vacuous and easily taken advantage of.

He told us to ignore the the notion that this is empowering, this shackles women more than any form of chauvinism ever could. While they mane a choice to do this, they also become part of the problem in their

complacency.

Dave Finn (HLM)

Asked us what do we do for the pretty girl with no brains? Tell her to work in tesco? Or become a secretary? We have to accept that there is a marked difference between smartness and intelligence and knowing that exploiting your physical niceties is smart. Men will pay for it and will be very happy for it. Glamour models may not be the best role models but no such thing exists,

Conor Keane (Final Civ. Law) then took to the floor to try and dissuade the crowd from skewering the prop speakers and spit roasting them. Although not in the manner that you would usually do. I told you that I am an ardent equalitarian and that role models exits for all walks of life. The notion of young men being taught to be misogynists based of a bodily reaction is false, as most lads when at that age are usually predisposed to their own hormonal reactions, Pretty women cause erections. Such is the way of the world. Johnny Depp being the tonic for the other side of the genetic spectrum

Different role models exist, like the blue ranger for myself and that we have to realise that maturity plays a big part in the regard of a role model. Not every woman will want to do it by the time they reach the age of 16/17/ . But for some we must realise that these models are role models for a few.

Now they have shown themselves to be good role models because they have utilised their fame for good. Celebrities do this all the time, like Bono and Bib Geldof, and whilst we may not like it, people listen to celebrities.

Education is something we should invest in and thus such problems will naturally dissipate.

Furthermore the motion of female exploitation is laughable. Women are vilified for doing thing shtat would get men the Freedom of Dublin.

Gordon Gekko

In short, we need to recognise that all walks of life can be role models, be they street sweeper or glamour model and we should applaud this.

With that, the speeches were summated and the motion defeated with a level of vehemence like me staring in the mirror.

For the second time that night, I was on the losing end and thus retired home to cry, eat some Haagan Dazc and watch “When Harry Met Sally....” or “When Harry and Sally respectfully met, discussed their own individual merits, realise that they are both beautiful, people and thus made lovely consensual equal love before running of into the sunset to have a perfect boring marriage....”

Or something like that.

And so the Auditor closed the meeting and we rode off into the sunset.

These are the minutes.