Under the watchful gaze of the committee of the 158 th session, former Auditors, members (honorary life and otherwise) and representatives from campus security, one of the more tense meetings in recent Lit n Deb memory was begun by the Auditor, Mr. Kevin J.P. Leavy, B.Comm, at eight hours past noon fall on Thursday October the fourteenth in the common Era Year Two Thousand and Four in the hallowed Temple of Kirwan.

After welcoming the healthy crowd in attendance to the meeting, Mr. Leavy called for the most sharply dressed Recording Secretary in the history of the Society, Mr. Sean P.M Butler, to share with us the minutes of the previous meeting. Mr. Butler’s minutes were generally well-received, with few objections, save for one from a Society member, who not only embarrassed MR. Butler in front of an auditorium of people, but proceeded to slander him by directly calling him a “Conservative” and expressly implying he was a homophobe. But apart from that, the minutes were generally well-received.

With that minor incident over, Mr. Leavy called for a motion from the floor, with Mr. Sean Clancy (1 st Engineering) responding with the motion “That this House would write a Letter to Cian O’Connor showing our support in this trying time”, the first fresher motion of the year. He called Cian O’Connor’s doping charge a simple misinterpretation of medical files. Stephen Nolan, such a permanent fixture in this University, that he has been employed to become part of the foundation of the new Sports Centre, told us that if any athlete, regardless of how much dignity they restored upon Ireland’s Olympic campaign, is suspected of using performance enhancers, they should have to go through the usual rigorous testing. Peter O’Brien (3 rd Science) declared himself in favour of horse doping, as watching sedated junkie horses attempting to jump over fences would be far more entertaining than viewing sprightly horses succeeding. Some 1 st Med student (1 st Med) (going to let it slide) said that this was the Olympics, not some egg and spoon race, and so should be treated as such. John Moriarty (1 st Arts) asked us if we would now be sending a letter of sympathy to Cathal Lombard if he had been found out after the games as opposed to before. And finally, Jeff Dolan showed us all the error of our ways as he said people should have more important things to discuss than sport and horses. The motion was summed up and defeated, meaning Cian’s getting no sympathy from us.

Ansin bhain Matthew De Hal (Chéad Dán) triall as diospóireacht trí Ghaeilge, an chéad teanga sa tir agus an ollscoil seo. Ach chuir Máistear Leavy stop leis mar níor thuig se cad a bhí se ag rá.

The second motion of the evening was proposed by Sharon Dillon-Lyons (LLB) and was titled “That this house would negotiate with terrorists”. Ms. Dillon-Lyons called negotiations simply a means to a resolution, and reminded us that Ken Bigley had bid farewell to the martial coil because of the British Government’s refusal to talk. Keith S. Maye, a Master of the Arts, proved that size doesn’t matter as he delivered another of his trademark rallying speeches, this time condemning terrorists for having no respect for the dignity of human life. Seamus Boyle, Irish citizen, gave Mr. Maye a history lesson by pointing out that negotiations with Sinn Fein/IRA have been a moderate success. Barry Crushell (3 rd Arts) claimed that al-Qaeda have completely ignored all the democratic principles of the Western World. Lorcan Price (2 nd Arts) told us that al-Qaeda’s final goal is nothing short of the total destruction of the West. Jeff Dolan complained that no one has yet to mention the Israelis constant bombing of Palestinian citizens. Joseph Quinn (1 st Arts) vociferously told us you do not negotiate with murderers. Martin Collins (LLM) reminded us that the Irish state was founded by terrorists and murderers. And finally, Rasta-Man asked us how much terrorists really represent the people they claim to stand for. The motion was summed up and carried, making the Lit n Deb the latest addition to George Bush’s list of the terrorist sympathisers.