It began one year ago tonight when, what some might call an “absolute maniac” was elected recording secretary of the 159 th session. Now it’s almost over and here I face the final curtain. Now one year on a lot as happened. A lot has happened but very little of its interesting so I’ll just recount the best and the worst of times: the committee dinner. It was a memorable night because of quotes like “I’ll blow it all over your face, Roisin” and “can I have chips and potatoes with that.” A meeting of the continuity Lit & Deb later ensued when Stephen left. It was the first of the current session and was held in the Living Room. Various motions and words were passed and defeated and at one point a half full glass of erdinger was chairing. By way of a procedural motion the half full glass of erdinger was deemed half empty due to its pessimistic outlook…

In other news the last ordinary meeting of the 159 th session of the Literary and Debating Society was held on the 24 th march 2006 and was chaired by The Great Dictator, I ate Harry Potter. The recording secretary, more dashing, more intelligent and certainly more dapper that next years recording secretary, read the minutes to laughter and applause. No objections were lodged indicating my greatness.

The first PMT was proposed by Stephen Quigley (arts) and was “TTHW send all the travellers to Leitrim,” luring them there with a horse fair. With this startling proposition we could do two things: finally put Leitrim on the map and get rid of all the knackers. With an increased demand for gates and carpets in Leitrim, the economy would grow. Opposing was Peter P. P. O’Brien (HLM) who said that if we put travellers in one place they wouldn’t be travellers any more. With the travellers secured in Leitrim, the Leitrim people will start travelling around Ireland. We know what the travellers are good at: robbing and fighting. Not knowing what the Leitrim people are good at could cause havoc. John “I do orts in Galway like” Moriarity (arts) said the travellers could become a geographic and vote. Sinead “El Hombre” Barry insinuated that Mr. DeBurca engaged in S & M. Beartla “Mr. Pigeon” DeBurca wanted to build a wall encircling Leitrim and allow the travellers to travel from north to south. When it was pointed out that a county like Leitrim doesn’t have a north or south, just a centre, the speaker scoffed. Sean Butler (future arts) talked about suicide bombers blowing up gates. The motion was passed.

Main business was chaired by Kieran “bitten by The Gay” Duffy (former auditor, current gay) who called a debate a “monologue interrupted by strangers.” He told the huddled mass that if you get a 2.1 in arts you’ll end up in Athlone. He said he was in a gorgeous mood of lovliness and niceness. He introduced the adjudicators: Brendan Wilkins (CA), Sinead Laffin (experienced all around the world), Steven Lydon (a fine head of hair…front and back), and Dave Finn (Old man). Martin Collins was also on the panel.

Robert “The pedantic PD” Rooney tried to racoon the motion “TTHW privatise 3 rd level education” by proposing bringing back fees. He said no money is going to the humanities and the government need to shift back to the needs of the student. Brian “has a girlfriend from Dublin” Sharkey said privatisation forces universities to seek external funding, forcing them to metaphorically bend over in front of M.N.C.’s. Lorcan “forgot to get nominated” Price said that in a current budget deficit, universities are the first to get the cut. Privatisation would eliminate this. Ronan “I am debate” talked about floating Galway societies on the stock market. Nolan leaves Galway (market up 5), Nolan reaches Limerick (market down 10), Sean becomes auditor (market crashes.) He said only the government have the foresight to guide universities. Sharon “once deep throated a banana” Dillion-Lyons said that the government must pump money into primary and secondary education first. Rosin McGrogan (law) that the government must support 3 rd level education as a basic degree now constitutes a basic education in this knowledge driven economy. Sean “Nil Carborandum Illegitimi” Butler, of the butler dynasty, 3,114 th in line to the English throne, said that universities should be driven my market demand and supply. A good private university for some is better than a mediocre public university for all. Jack “the love shack” Evans talked about ability and effort, saying he didn’t need to use it as he had slept with Donna. Nuala Kane gave an attractive speech saying that academic excellence could be fostered through competition. She also said that there was no basic right to a tertiary education. Finally Stephen Nolan, a resident of Gort, said that the idea of a market driven university helping the poor was laughable.

Duffy looked gay and giddy as he said chairing again had just been like losing is virginity all over again…except this time he knew where everything goes. Peter O’Brien talked about a universities society’s scheme. John Moriarity said great universities seek great talent. Mark Hannifey said that if fees were introduced people would be more likely to pursue arts degrees.

The adjudicators returned. Brendan Wilkins announced that Mr. Sean Butler was speaker of the year for the 159 th session of the literary and debating society. He called the debate a poor debate. In the format that the speakers pursued was an example of “learning disabled debate.” In this style of debate two people, blind, dumb or deaf, must determine whether a motion is true or false. Notable in this style of debating is the speaker’s chronic inability to directly defend or attack the motion. This led to the slow speech patterns and laziness of the contestants. This sums up the final perfectly but doesn’t take away from Sean’s victory in the slightest.

The motion was defeated.

And now, the end is near, and so I face my final curtain, ladies and gentlemen, I’ll say it clear, I’ll state the minutes, of which I’m certain, I’ve done a year, a year that’s full, and ignored each and every order, and more, much more than this, I did it my way. For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself, then he has naught, to say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels, the record shows I took the blows and did it my way!

And thus ends all my obligations to this the 159 th session of the Literary and Debating Society. Nunc Nunc qui timot eloqui. Goodnight Galway.