On the 16 th march 2006 a meeting of the Literary and debating society was called to answer the time honoured question of abortion and who should get one. Mr Nolan was chair and the minutes were read to laughter by the dapper recording secretary. Ms. Nuala Kane and Mr. Ronan Harrington were congratulated for reaching the final of the Limerick IV.

Dave Keane (corp. law) proposed the first PMT- “TTHW support the abortion of its Bebo.” The young life of Bebo had been terminated half way through its second semester, in what was clearly a miscarriage of justice by computer services. Dave being Dave also mentioned scantly clad girls but it wasn’t relevant. Opposing was John Moriarity who said that Bebo had the potentiality to have academic success. Beartla DeBurca (Islander from somewhere in the Atlantic) said he had had a thought of such mind numbing relevance that the debate would instantly end after he said it. Unfortunately he forgot what it was so he just told us that Bebo was addictive and a “bad idea.” Sharon Dillion-Lyons pointed out that sites such as golf or goat porn, allowing you to express your natural tendencies towards voyeurism, were not banned. The ban is systematic of a lack of computers. Mark Hannifey managed to bring the balance of rights into a debate on Bebo which had turned into a parody of an abortion debate, which isn’t a very nice debate at all. Donna Cummins said that Bebo allowed her to look inwards and see herself. What an interesting existence Donna must lead…her whole inner workings summed up into a 20 word paragraph on BEBO. Rooney drew a comparison between banning bebo and not allowing fictional books to be read in the library. Finally Sean Butler said that University is not just a place of academia and if it was then college would be an awfully dull place. That must be why hes doing arts next year. The motion was summed up and defeated on a re-count.

For posterity sake I shall tell you what abortion is. Abortion is a medical procedure that leads to increased financial gain, saving future costs and freeing up 18 years of your life. Most Christians are extremely opposed to abortion, some even taking their opposition to the point that they murder pregnant women, steal their fetuses, and grow them in laboratories. These people aren’t particularly good examples of Christians but the point stands.

The Motion for main business was “TTHW legalise abortion.” The first speaker was Owen Feehan. He asked for prejudices (and miniature American flags) to be left at the door. As women have been liberated from stereotypical gender roles they are free to choose what happens to their own body. To be human involves the ability to think, feel, hope and dream. Life does not simply switch on, it is gradual. A foetus is not a life. Thrusting motherhood on an unready girl is bad for the girl, the child and society.

Eoghan Casey began by saying nobody wants to see abortions happening. It is a flawed solution to a particular set of circumstances. He laughed at the notion that higher mental functions gift us with rights, calling it disposable and callous. He said abortion is not a solution, but an absence of a solution. One injustice (rape/incest) doesn’t justify another (abortion)

Frank Crummey, director general of the Marie Stopes foundation, was next up for opposition. He said that the legalisation of abortion is inevitable. He said that his clinic treats every crisis pregnancy with compassion, kindness and the best of medical treatment. As the power of the church has waned, the drive for abortion has increased. “Until someone proves that god does exist, I will continue to do what I do…”

Ronan Mullen, Irish Examiner, talked about the nuances of the debate being lost in rhetorical points. He said that the moment of conception, the potential for life is born. He said the notion that life is sacred from conception is philosophical, not religious.

The motion was opened to the floor. Steven Lydon (bridge builder) criticised the creation of an arbitrary line at three months. Mark Jennings asked who gives is the right to kill someone: Abortion is murder. Dan Colley said the debate revolved around the concept of a soul. He asked if spirituality should have a say in law. Sean Small criticised the UN family planning agency for aiding in abortions in poor countries. Sharon Dillon-Lyons talked about acknowledging women, that we should protect those people taking risks in isolation. She also mentioned the hypocrisy of the morning after pill. Robert Rooney said that the whole debate hinges on when life begins. He said that we shouldn’t judge those 17 year olds with children because they didn’t chose abortion. Stephen Nolan, giving the chain to Sean Butler, said he was against dictating to people what they can or cannot do, saying this is an example of the underclass being maligned from society. Supposedly kids like Mr. Nolan as he smells like sweets and meat. Lorcan Price said that each human person is a unique human being that is not trumpeted by economic circumstances or lifestyle choices.

Finally Ms. Egan, who organised the event, delivered a message of thanks to the speakers and all who helped organise the night. She also said that as society is so full of contraception these days, getting pregnant is careless. Abortion should not be legalised.

The motion was put to the floor and by a margin of 2 votes, passed. Abortion is a funny thing isn’t it. Abortions would be needed less if there weren’t so many fallacies about what exactly constitutes contraception. Firstly an empty bag of cheese and onion Tayto doesn’t substitute a condom. You need the salt and vinegar variety for that. Having sex standing up/sitting down/in a swimming pool doesn’t negate your responsibility to wear a condom, unless of course you don’t know the woman and are never going to see her again. Then it really doesn’t matter. For optimum pleasure during sex: keep a beer condom close. Nunc Nunc qui timot eloqui.