School uniforms, sick days, girls in school uniforms, bad canteen food, obnoxious teachers, plebiscites, Macbeth, the circular flow of income, tables, spellings, sports and friends: these were the days of our lives… The Connacht schools Final returned to Galway on the 6 th February 2006.

Clad in the attire of someone living in the 1860's was Stephen Nolan, The Great Dictator, who looked rather bat like in robes and tux. He chaired. With a school tie fastened tightly around his head and clad in the rags of his old school uniform was Patrick Cluskey, Rec. sec. He was informed on several occasions that he could pass as a 15 year old. Unfortunately every time somebody said this, they also pointed out that this did not mean the rec. sec. could score a 15 year old. Foiled yet again! The minutes were read and passed with one amendment. Robert Rooney, who still hasn't written any letters, read a postcard from Dan, a letter from Peter O'Brien (HLM currently resident in Australia…) and another from Elaine Dobyn (former auditor). Ms. Dobhin encouraged the rec. sec. from her year, Mr. Nolan, to actually do some work and write the minutes into the book. Cluskey- 1, Nolan- 0!

The floor was opened for private member times. The Squigs proposed “TTHW make home economics compulsory for girls in secondary schools.” Spread across every girls face was shock, surprise and contempt for The, or Mr. Squigs as he likes to be called, as he was clearly misogynistic. He said all he had ever wanted was his girlfriend to be able to cook him a good steak or at the very least, fetch him a glass of water without burning something. Was that too much to ask? Opposing was Mr. Cluskey who said that this nothing but blatant discrimination against women and the female sex. For men to continue their subjugation of women, the illusion of equality is paramount. Steph “the pigeon” Joyce said that she had never been able to cook. Having tasted her “food” I can verify this. She said that the “path of feminism” went against Bush's war on terror. With such clarity Ms. Joyce finally concluded that all the terrorists really wanted was a nice home cooked meal by a lovely girl. David Keane said that women have never had it so easy: popping out babies is quite simply simple. He proposed putting men into the home and let them put their feet up. Cathy Egan went weak at the knees when Robert proposed to her. The prospect of getting married, having his children and after all that finally having sex with him totally overwhelmed her and left her weak at the knees, later the stomach. Stephen Nolan, giving the chain to the vice-auditor, said that The Squigs had played sneaky mind games on Donna and said sometimes that woman should be the social partner in a relationship, in a very clear and blatant attempt to suck up to his girlfriend. The motion was summed up and passed.

Next something utterly unbelievable happened. From the back of the Kirwan Mr. Peter P. P. O'Brien stepped in. The crowd went silent. A thousand questions raced through everyone's minds. Why was Peter back? He's supposed to be 3000 miles away? And do the toilets really flush the opposite way down under? A procedural motion demanded that Peter explain himself. He said that he was now Australia 's biggest export after Foster's and had come back to deliver a “Beer Condom” to Steve. Typical O'Brien!!

The schools final was main business. The judges were Tristan Netheway, Sinead Laffin, Paula Walsh, John Mark Hannifey, Martin Collins, The Squigs and the CA was Sharon Dillion Lyons.

Conor Daly, Gort Community School , proposed the motion that “this house believes Saddam Hussein deserves the death penalty.” He argued that the west should have no say in how the trial is run. Iraqi law requires the death penalty and this must be delivered. Jamie Brown, Coláiste Iognáid, said talked about the illegitimacy of the Iraqi court. Iraq could not try him: they weren't neutral. Eilis O'Donnell called Saddam a “sociopathic dictator” who deserved the death penality. Saddam right to due process was being followed. Rosin Dolan, Loughallen College , said that nobody deserves the death penalty, not even Saddam. Saddam should be tried by an international court.

Opening the individual part of the debate was Cornelia Carey, Dominican College , who said that the cost of imprisoning Saddam for life was a waste and that there was no chance of rehabilitation because he believes all his actions were justified. Aidan Rowe, St. Gerald's College, called Saddam's trial nothing but a show trial being controlled by America . If we kill him we make him a martyr. Sinead Marron, Sligo Grammar school , said that genocide and massive human rights abuses are not ordinary crimes and so do not deserve ordinary punishments. She finished by saying: “he would have put himself to death, so why don't we.” Caroline Kennedy, St. Joseph 's, said that the death penalty panders for a lust for blood. She also felt remorse for Saddam's daughter and family who would have “to lose their father”.

Rosie Halliwell, continuing for Gort Community School , said that Saddam was a bad leader, leading with his fist and not his heart. The death penality is legitimate under international law and therefore is legitimate in this instance. Donnacha Lenehan, Coláiste Iognáid said that prop's model would lead to “draconian dead squads” set up to kill every dictator. He said Iraq had been rich and prosperous under Saddam's rule until the Gulf War. To kill him now would be to immortalise him, yet to let him live would be to let him be forgotten. Áine Molloy, Sacred Heart School , said that we cannot force our western morals on others. Finally Olivia Gallagher, Loughallen College , said that this was nothing but a show trial which ignored the law of Sovereign Immunity. The Adjudicators retired.

Stephen Nolan called this the best schools final in years. He asked those who took part three questions. What was the west's roll in creating this dictator? Is this response proportionate and necessary? Is this creating a precedent? Sean Butler said that American and British foreign policy is responsible for the many of the world's ills. Lorcan Price said that we cannot retrospectively justify history through present day standards, calling it “imperialistic and foolish.” Rosin McGrogan, Schools Convenor, thanked everyone for their involvement especially Claire McGowan. Nolan, filling time, thanked Denny's and Rosin. In a further attempt to kill a short amount of time was someone who doesn't appreciate what being short is. Beartla DeBurca gave his shortest though yet- “Saddam deserves to die.”

Ms. Dillon-Lyons returned to deliver the verdict.

• Winning Team: Jamie Brown & Donnacha Lenehan (Coláiste Iognáid(
• Winning Individual: Sinead Marron (Sacred Heart School )
• Runner up team: Eilis O'Donnell & Áine Molloy (Sacred heart)
• Runner up individual: Aidan Rowe ( St. Gerald's College)

The motion was put to the floor and was defeated. All retired to DeBurgos where I successfully gained entry despite looking like a 15 year old and wearing a school uniform. Further congratulations must be offered to two first years, Ms. Nuala Kane and Mr. Ronan Harrington, who broke to the final of the Limerick Intervarsity.