The day dawned bright yet dusk and twilight were what lay in evening. The 11 th meeting of the 159 th session of the Literary and debating society was on the 12 th January 2006 and began at 8.20 p.m. Stephen Nolan was chair. The minutes were read and passed with amendments.

Robert Rooney proposed a punitive procedural motion against the recording secretary. This was amended by Ms. Susan Tracy (2 nd commerce) and became “TTHW would record the minutes accurately.” The shadows of night rose and threatened to consume the great halls of Kirwan as the forces of light and dark prepared for great battle. From the ash, fire was re-awoken in the hearts of man and then from that impenetrable silence there came Susan. Ms. Tracy, on a noble quest of good and righteousness, talked of the greater need for accuracy in the minutes and also said that this was not a new problem. Mr. Cluskey, drawing a sword, metaphorically sharpened, said that the minutes were recorded accurately. I told the house that a decision was needed as to where the minutes need to go from here. I ended by saying, “let the people decide.” Rising to the field of Cormallen, I mean Kirwan, was John Moriarity (2 arts) who offered elucidation on the matter, saying the Master of Rolls should take the words of men and create merriment from them. Arriving on a metaphorical white stallion was the fair maiden, the lady Cummins (2 nd med. And health sciences) who decreed that the records and scrolls of the kingdom should not be confined by those traditions of old. A white prince, Heir Martin Collins (law) said that the records were an almanac of life in the society, that they should be preserved and not made light of and that the numbers of objections the minutes receive are testament to the unease within the house. Mr. Sean Butler (science), who once also commanded the title of the master of the rolls, said that Lit & Deb is the body of students that make it up and that they should decide what the minutes should be. Ronan Harrington called for a serious set of minutes with the more frivolous side of the society to be left online. Rosin Mc Grogan (law), a damsel clad in blood red garb echoing fierce shadows of the distant days of battle and war, said that like any other committee member the rec. sec. is subject to human error. Clad in shining mail and carrying a double-sided metaphorical battle axe was the great dictator, Mr. Nolan who said he would speak as a member of the society. As the real chain was being fixed, the “metaphorical chain” was given to Robert Rooney. Mr. Nolan said that only what happens in Kirwan should be allowed to enter the minutes. Ms. Cathy Egan (law), a berserk from the west, said that the essence of the minutes was that of humour. If the rec. sec. wished to talk of fried eggs, then he should be allowed. From the right of the battle field, Martina Callanan, a glorious maiden spoke aloud a powerful magick "Verily let the minutes be unerring and absolute" the blow sending a shockwave through the encircled Soldiers of light. “One last time unto the breach dear friends.” One last ditch attack was planned to end these evil days of strife. And so it was that Mr. Stephen Lydon(2 nd bridge building)spoke with a clear voice, declaring that the preponderance of the hallowed halls must decide this sacred question. The motion was passed but a recount was called for and tellers appointed. The motion, “TTHW accurately record the minutes”, was defeated. Lightning cracked open the ceiling and from the dark aperture of the night a great boom shattered the auditors hammer. The battle was ended. Mr Nolan reclaimed the metaphorical chain and declared that the final decision lay in the hands of the 13 knights of Kirwan.

Main business opened and first up was our favourite islander, Mr. Beartla DeBurca (arts), who proposed “ That this house would reintroduce the death penalty for sheep stealing.” He said that law was the great leveller and that the death penalty should be introduced for all crimes. Jeffrey Rockett (arts) opposed “TTHB NASA is a waste of space.” Revealing himself as a star trek geek, or “treekie” as they are sometimes known, he said that NASA was going beyond the final frontier and expanding our knowledge of the universe. John Moriarity (arts) opposed “TTHW cut and run.” He said that America could not simply invade a country and then leave it to fend for itself. Democracy takes time to flourish. Zoe McNair (arts) was determined to get her past escapades into the minutes legitimately and told us that if Beartla's motion carried then she would be arrested for sexually assaulting three former auditor's and a member of the adjudication panel. She said not all crimes were equal and that she had simply assaulted the former auditors' clothing. John Hyland (SU) was in favour of the SU for some reason. He talked about student apathy and Lit & Deb being one of the better societies. Brian Sharkey (science) proposed that “TTHB NASA is a waste of space.” He said that sending people to MARS was risky business, and also mentioned that growth in private space travel would have positive and efficient effects. Ronan Harrington (arts) proposed that “TTHW impose greater sanctions on Iran .” He argued in favour of oil sanctions, saying that IRAN sought nuclear power not for energy reasons but to acquire more muscle on the world stage. At this point the judges, Declan Burke (economics), Sinead Laffan (arts) and Lorcan Price (arts) retired to consider the winners.

The motion was opened to the floor. Mark Hannifey (science) spoke hilariously on the political situation in IRAN . He proposed “that the corr. Sec. would write a letter to the Iranian president, offering support to Iran ” which was later carried. This was so we could acquire nuclear weapons and enter into a state of mutually assured nuclear destruction with China . The final speaker of the night was Anto Doherty (arts) proposed “that the US should cut and run.” He said the yanks aren't doing anything of worth in Iraq .

Sinead Laffan enjoyed the debates and said that the format was interesting. The winner was announced:

• 1 st place: John Moriarity
• Honourable mention: Ronan Harrington

The meeting was closed and all retired to DeBurgos to clean their faces of war paint and enjoy a nice frothy orange substance: beer!