As Mr. Nolan and our Vice Auditor, Ms. Dillion-Lyons had so conveniently made sure to get their Irish times round the same night as the Literary evening, it meant that Mr. Sean P. M. Butler was chairing the evening. To cries of ‘resign’ and ‘I wanna sleep with you’, Mr. Butler re donned the academic robes that he so missed once again. As his mortal flesh touched the holy and blessed chain of the Lit & Deb, the impossible happened: ignorance was lifted from his meagre mind of numbers and equations. He knew his purpose and destiny and with such clear precision of thought he even perceived his own death would come on the 3 rd day of the seventh month in the third cycle of the red moon, which would occur at precisely the same moment that the pink mould would begin to grow again in his house…

In other news the 9 th meeting of the 159 th session of the Lit & Deb was celebrated in the Richard E. Kirwan lecture theatre at approx. 8.35 p.m. The purpose of this evening was to pay homage to the Lit in Lit & Deb., a night where reality and fiction meet. Mr. Butler opened the meeting, accidentally welcoming people to the 1 st meeting of the 160 th session, as opposed to the 9 th meeting of the 159 th session. After the confusion subsided, Mr. Butler congratulated all those qualifying for an Irish Times second round.

They were:

• Robert Rooney and Brain Sharkey
• Cathy Egan and Dave keane
• Jeffrey Rockett and Sean Butler
• Donna Cummins and Stephanie Joyce
• Roisin Mc Grogan and Lorcan Price
• Nuala Kane

Obvious exceptions from this list include me and Vincent, who yet again were royally shafted by some Tosser’s from the pale. There is no need to worry however as all those involved have been systematically exterminated in a quick session of routine mass murder.

Sean handed over to our literary officer, Mr. Anthony Doherty, who was to chair “only business.” Mr. Doherty introduced Mr. Mike McCormack. He read a number of short stories including “The City of Dolls.” A woman sat beside him in a café and then left through the main door, leaving him with…a happy memory. He also read from his new book, “Notes from a Coma”.

Next up was Kevin Higgins who read a variety of delightful poems. He began with “knives” which many perceived as having a sarcastic tone. He told us that he grew up in Galway and recited “A Real Galwegian.” In this poem a group of American tourists complained to a bar tender that there had been no lock on the toilet doors. With this the bar tender had responded enthusiastically: “there hasn’t been a lock on that door for 20 years and no one has stolen a shit yet…” He continued with “Black Hole,” a poem about London in the 1970’s, which ended with the line: “this is the place where no light escapes.” Following that came “Mise Eireann” which cast a satirical glance at modern Ireland. He continued with “Extra”, “St. Petersburg Sins”, “last man standing” and finally finished with “himself.”

The meeting was a great success and Mr. Doherty was thanked for his sterling work. The first years were especially happy with the meeting and Anthony’s organising of it. I even managed to convince a group of Naïve young first years that J. K Rowing, author of the Harry Potter books was going to be coming to our next literary night. Their hopes, dreams and nervous giggles subsided however when I explained the difference between “reality” and “fiction.”