Last weekend a delegation from Lit & Deb travelled to the Oxford IV. They returned neither with plaque nor trophy not stolen book, only with memories and oh so sweet gossip. As per usual Ms. Cathy Egan (1 st AA) was most eager in this quest for gossip and drunkenness, not only creating gossip by scoring some 16 year old Trinner (yes- he was 16!), but also spreading gossip about herself and a first year called Jack and another un-named BCL student that may/may not be corr. Sec. of the current session.

In other news the 8 th meeting of the 159 th session was chaired by Mr. Stephen Nolan. Mr. Cluskey brought the house to tears as he recited an extract from his new book titled, “the death of the minute’s part 1: the fun police strike back.” An objection was lodged as to the lack of madness in the minutes however the auditor didn’t accept the objection as valid.

The first PMT was proposed by John Moriarity (2 arts) and was “TTHW replace proportional representation with intellectual representation.” He said that PR was not good for democracy, parties or government. He also admitted to doing transition year twice. Bearlta DeBurca, who is hopelessly, desperately and forever in love with Big Pigeon Joyce, admitted he was illogical. He disliked this newfangled intellectual based system as it would mean that he, like the majority of arts students would lose their votes. He also called Sean Stupid. Due to no concrete proof as to the stupidity of Sean, Beartla was not ejected from the house at this point. He did mention that in democracy everyone must get a vote, even the intellectually challenged among us. Next up was Sean “According to beartla I’m illogical and stupid- now that’s rich!” Butler (science post grad) who said that society should not be governed by the most popular but the most useful. Anthony Doherty said the model was unworkable and, stabbing his own party Fianna Fail in the back, said that politicians would have to take an exam slightly more difficult exam that the junior cert. This would lead to a drop to almost zero membership in Fianna Fail…obviously. The motion was summed up and passed.

The second PMT was proposed by “Campus Geographic fan club member #1”, Nuala Kane. Membership now open: please talk to Sean. Cost: €8. The motion was: “TTHW defend the right of the people of Ireland to wear hoodies .” She talked about personal freedom and said that we cannot tar everyone who wears hoodies with same brush. Dave Finn (B.A. O.A.P. what B.Sc?) , opposed saying that security ask teenagers not to take off their hoodies, but just to take down their hoods. Patrick Cluskey IV, “the master of rolls,” said that if we were to stop letting people wear hoodies we would have no way of identifying the filth in society, summing up the main proposition argument. Martin Collins (law) said there must be a balance between liberty and the well being of society. He also said that wearing hoodies were quite unflattering towards women, indirectly insulting Ms. Kane. Donna Cummins (2 med and health science) said a shop once refused her entry, and asked if Britney can walk into a shop, looking like a tramp, why can’t she? Orlaith O’ Connor stated that most shops in Limerick have sign saying ‘no hoodies.’ The motion was summed up and passed, proving that youth and exuberance are enough to beat pessimism and old age any day!

With that PMT was closed and main business opened. The motion: “TTHW legalise sadomasochism.” The judges: Declan Burke, James Hope and token female adjudicator Ms. Sharon Dillion-Lyons. The prize: dignity.

John Moriarity opened for music Soc., talking about frustrating sexual desires and finished by talking about his mother. Opening for the Fantasy and Science fiction society was a tall elf man called (Steven Lydon) Tim, member of the little league of the Drak Lord, Impervious Durka durka. In preparation for the motion, Tim and his team mate, Vincentious Lacius of Drogenmoot, had experimented with whips chains and the occasional nail. He said that half the fun of S&M was its illegality. To legalise it would take the fun away. Continuing for music Soc. Was Cillian O’ Ceallaigh, who compared S&M to getting drunk in a pub. Next up for the Geek society was Vincentious Lacius of Drogenmoot, who talked of his love of German maidens, wishing he could become one and make his own S&M film, elevating his status among Clifden men, but decreasing his status everywhere else. Opening for PDS was Jeffrey Rockeet who discussed his hot relationship with Sean. He talked about bodily autonomy and the sanctity of the “nail and the whip” approach to sex. Opening for the venerable and honourable Law Society was the less than venerable and certainly not honourable Pigeon, Ms. Stephanie “cooooooo” Joyce. She took it seriously and talked about the states obligation to take the moral high ground and protect the population from something as heinous as S&M. She summed up her speech and at Mr. Cluskey’s request declared that he would continue the serious tone of her argument and talk about fat people. Up next was Zoe “soon I shall have my wicked way and stroke the one known as Collins” McNair, and who comes complete with handcuffs. Now, if only all women could think this far ahead! She said that S&M sessions are held in a very controlled environment. Next up for LawSoc was Mr. Patrick Cluskey. He explained how he didn’t know what S&M was until he met Stephanie. Stephanie had such a wealth of information on S&M, having discovered it half way in between Beartla and Vincent, that she practically wrote my speech for me. I talked about the increasing large problem of fat people engaging in S&M. Next up was Dave Keane who talked about his own positive experiences with S&M and sex in general. Opening for An Cumman Eigse was Beartla “I love big pigeon Joyce” DeBurca. Shockingly He opened with a joke that made sense and was equally funny! Well done, my good chap! He also talked about safety measures and the lack there of. Anthony Doherty (arts) said that there are only a few examples of times when S&M went too far! Sean Butler, long standing lover of Irish and Beartla, said that he liked sex, making him the absolutely best partner Bearla could have gotten. He defined sex and went on to say you cannot put lour life at risk, as you or other people could die. With that the adjudicators retired to the underground chamber to deliberate.

The motion was opened to the floor. Sarah Bruen, who’s idea of a cocktail would undoubtedly be a straw stuck in a pint of Bulmers, said that criminalising spanking would mean so much less sex for her as Cathy would have to go to a penal colony and pick cotton flax.

The judges returned and Ms Dillion-Lyons delivered the verdict:

• Winning Team: PDS (Jeffey Rockett and Zoe Mc Nair)
• Winning Individual: Sean Butler

Our fellowship journeyed on until we reached the underground caves of De Burgos, where it was decided that the society should delve further into the deep mysteries of S&M… I got really tied up by the whole experience… By the way sex is a Latin numerical prefix meaning six.