Student train driver goes off the rails

On the 2nd of March in the College bar of NUI, Galway, top Chemistry Student Mark Hanniffy (20) of Clonmel, Co. Tipperary, ruined a night of gentle merriment for a party of people celebrating.

At approximately 11.55pm, Mr. Hanniffy, after consuming a large quantity of free beer, became increasingly obsessed with the idea with leading a train of people around the bar. He made two unsuccessful attempts to lead people in this twisted conga line.

Subsequently, a heated discussion arose with several 'friends' who tried to subdue a third attempt but to no avail. Mr. Hanniffy could not be stopped and violently grabbed people and forced them into submission as carriages. Eye witness Jose Barranchez (after a translator was found) said "Not since my days in Cuba under Castro, have I seen such an unreasonable dictator of a man".

Mr. Hanniffy's 'train' started in the private party in the back of the college bar and continued in a random fashion around the main area. The control of this train was described as "less than desirable" and resulted in many people being knocked over as it passed, forcing them to grab hold of the train and thus swell it's ranks. Others including members of staff, such as Dr. Aidan Kane, dropped their drinks and jaws in absolute shock.

The private party of which Mr. Hanniffy had been invited was a celebration for all those who had helped or taken in part in NUI, Galway's Muscailt festival the previous week. When quizzed on why such a disruptive force was invited to the party, organiser and society officer, Riona Hughes admitted that she had always assumed Mark Hanniffy as a reliable and essentially well-adjusted member of society, the particular society being Lit & Deb.

Bar staff and security had to act quickly to contain the runaway train. They set up a blockade midway through the bar but this seemed to bring some incredible driving skills out of the maniacal train master as he led the train down the narrow and treacherous line behind the seats.

Eventually the train ran out of steam and passengers as the bar staff stepped up their initiatives and dimmed the lights ahead of time to coerce people to the bar. Finally Mr Hanniffy accepted defeat but in his drunken insanity was quoted as saying "I'm a great train driver, I am". The consequences of his actions have not been finalised however it is believed that he is being treated as a serial train driver and his punishment will not be lenient.

Report by Peter O’Brien