Thirteen go mad in Kirwan

“Hurry up” cried Auditor, “Why do you always lag behind, Promotions Officer?” “I don’t like adventures!” huffed Promotions Officer, “and one always seems to happen every Thursday in Kirwan to start around 8:23!” “Oh pooh” said Recording Secretary crossly, “You jolly well ought not spoil this adventure or I’ll not include you in my secret diary!” “Stop fighting you two” scowled Literary Officer, “or I’ll have to give your ears a good boxing! Now quick let’s leave our bicycles here and make our way to Kirwan, I overheard some men talking about condemning Peter Mandelson and they’re going to do it here! Tonight!” “Oh those bloody Shinners” PRO quipped “they’re always up to no good, and they’re so naughty!” “I’d love to give their ears a good bashing too” thought Literary Officer “now quick let’s go in and have our secret meeting before they get here.”

“Oh good, you’re here! I thought you weren’t going to make it on time. The place is ready for our secret meeting” said Clerk-of-the-House. “You are so good,” replied SDO “you did a fine job, just splendid.” “Sit down,” warned External Convenor, “Auditor is about to start the meeting.”

“Order, Order” bellowed Auditor. “Recording Secretary will now read from our secret diary.” “Oh I hope those pesky Shinners don’t spoil our fun tonight, though I would like to have an adventure!” whispered Corresponding Secretary. “Don’t worry’ replied Vice-Auditor, “I’ll counter their plan should they try anything!” “You always do” beamed Clerk-of-the House, “You’re so brave!” “Here they come!” cried Schools Convenor: “the Shinners are here!” “I’d like to condemn Peter Mandelson,” yelled one of the Shinners. “I’ll oppose you”, retorted Vice-Auditor.

“Now the meeting’s over and the Shinners are defeated we can go to Red Square for a picnic!” cheered Treasurer “and I’ve got just enough shillings…” “…To get lashings and lashings of tasty Baileys!” squealed Internal Convenor.

Ian Ed Blighting

2^nd Arts (English & Sociology)