Quotations & Heckles- Lit’n’Deb
Madness revealed...
Capturing an audience’s heart, with the use of only one’s voice and turn of phrase is a subtle art and success at it demands years of practice. Attempting to mock someone, who is trying to capture an audience’s heart, by use of cutting points of information or lampooning heckles is equally challenging and involves the skills of wit and timing.
Despite this fact a few Lit’n’debbers did manage crack a few good ones in the Kirwan of a Thursday evening throughout the year. Thus follows the editor’s humble attempt to capture some of them down on paper.
(Names have been disguised to protect the innocent)
K—th M-ye:
“Yes indeed Christ was altogether a very good guy..”
>He’s a saint
“Yes he’s a saint but sure he was only doing it to impress the silly masses.”
M-ry-Fr—c-s B—tty:
“Ladies and gentlemen- what would the book be without Peig’s suffering??
>Shorter
M-h-mm-d
Al K-r-me:
“Ladies and gentlemen- what do you have when you have two green balls in your hand??
B- Ry-n> an infection
M-ch-el K-lly: (On a point of information on legalisation of pornography)
“Did you know that the Coke in the vending machine beside Smokies is 55p, while the Coke in the machine beside the O’Fla is only 50p?”
El—ne D-bb-n: (addressing Mr. M-ye and his “wife”)
“Sir, is it not true that this wife of yours is completely imaginary?”
K—th M-ye: “I assure you Madame my wife is far from imaginary...”
El—ne D-bb-n> She’s inflatable.
K—th Maye:
‘There’s a game installed In the back of the college bar – it verges on pornography...
D-ve F-nn>it’s called pool
En-a D-l-n: (addressing Mr Pat Rabitte TD)
“Down with Stalin!”
“Tiocfaidh ár Socialist lá”
Dr. Ad-n K-ne: (before announcing the adjudication at the Siobhán McKenna Memorial debate)
“...however as Ronan Keating would put it: ‘you say it best when you say nothing at all’ - and so I will end the Jihad and announce our Fatwa…”
B-b
C-x:
“Dave Finn stood up earlier and said…”
D-r-k C-wl-y: ‘He never sits down”
B-b C-x> ‘You never shut up’