In
To the Kirwan they come.
For mirth and for laughs,
And perhaps a bit of fun.
Of a Thursday at eight,
In NUI, Gee,
The Lit’n’Deb is on,
for debating, you see.
At a quarter or so past,
The crowd, it appears,
Are psyched-up for the night,
Having had a few beers.
A giant of a man,
In black silken cloak,
He strides to the podium.
To applause from our folk.
Mr Crehan, our auditor,
with gavel and chain,
calms down the masses,
with the following refrain;
“Welcome, good evening,
To one and to all,
Welcome, good evening,
To this legendary hall”.
The crowd are excited,
A riot breaks out,
Peace is restored, though,
When they hear someone shout:
‘Lets have the minutes’’,
(Of last week you see),
They tell us the tale,
Of what came to be.
Miss Ryan, she descends,
And from the podium relays,
What happened last week,
Those ‘halcyon days”.
The Minutes are read,
Who said what, (who was fined),
Approved by the house,
And finally signed (“X”).
Formalities concluded,
The crowd they want more,
The gavel strikes once,
“Any motions from the floor”.
John Martin stands up,
(There is no man better),
His motion begins
‘That this house would write a letter...
“Oh no”, groans John Meere,
Distraught and aghast,
For he must write the letter,
If the motion is passed.
‘Any opposers” asks Fergal,
Says Caoimhín ‘Aye, Aye’.
“I’ll do my very best,
To kiss this motion goodbye”.
John Martin expands,
(and then starts to speak!),
It’s clear from his speech,
His motion’s not weak.
MacUnfraidh opposes,
With wit and with skill,
As if ‘twere rehearsed,
from a military drill.
Emmet Lynch, he speaks next,
Now giving it hell,
More than the sound,
Of a tree as it fell!
Feehily, that’s Ronan,
He comes to his feet,
Recites ‘Seomra a hocht’,
- A theatrical treat!
‘I will be heard here”,
Risking quite a few fines,
Shouts eloquent Brendan,
(That’s Lieutenant Lyons).
“I feel very, very strongly,
About this ****ing motion”,
The crowd now erupts,
From the chair comes a caution:
“I fine you ten points, sir,
For your open disregard,
Of the rules of this house,
From your Tesco Clubcard”.
The audience appeased,
One feels the relief,
The scene is now set,
For Cliodhna O’Keefe.
“Oppose now.,.” says she,
“This ridiculous motion,
The proposer quite clearly,
Hasn’t a notion”.
A remark such as this,
Made John Martin agog,
And angry and steaming -
Glasses clouded in fog.
“Order, Order” says Fergal,
Now taken aback.
Two pints of Guinness
Shouts a quack from the back.
In the confusion Maria speaks.
(Now is her chance),
To use her own voice,
To put us all in a trance.
It doesn’t work however.
Now there’s violence, My God!
Fergal wisely now dashes,
for the secret escape pod.
The escape pod’s no good -
A riot is starting,
We’re expecting the worst.
When suddenly from nowhere,
Eoin Ryan, he comes vaulting,
O’er seats, and o’er people,
Kicking, punching, and assaulting.
The headbutts are flying,
The punches are thrown,
Mr. Ryan rips open his shirt,
Why, it’s “Super-Eoin”!
Now nobody knew,
And nobody guessed,
That our superhero would have,
A big ‘E’ on his chest.
As we kneel in respect,
And as peace is restored,
Mr. Ryan our Superhero,
To the ceiling now soared.
The motion is passed,
Some fun for the pleb,
(The ordinary man), An ordinary night,
At the Lit and Deb.
John Meere (Corp. Law)