The following is an extract from the minutes of the second meeting of the 1983-84 academic year, Thursday November 3^rd 1983:

Damian Crawford (3^rd LLB) proposed the motion “that this House would write a letter declaring war on China” as there was a great danger from the Chinese. He informed the House that if all the Chinese stood on chairs and jumped off at the same time that it would cause a tidal wave that would engulf the western world. He cited the example of the seats in the restaurant being missing. Michael Collins (3^rd LLB) objected and expressed his shock at the motion. An amendment was made to the effect that all the chairs be returned to the Chinese so they wouldn’t be pilfering them. Eoin Ó Maoileoin proposed an amendment that the Corresponding Secretary write to the communist party chairman informing him of the situation. Brendan Grehan proposed that chairs were not the problem but the beds, stacked up to 20 high out of which the Chinese would jump when they heard the declaration of war, and that the Lit & Deb would be responsible for the holocaust. He proceeded to propose that we export thick carpets to China, this amendment was not accepted however. Conor Bowman (1^st Arts) suggested that in the rush for the carpets there would be a holocaust anyway. Martin Hanrahan suggested that all of the committee members should go to the Bahamas with Ron and the Russians to discuss things, and then put an end to China. This amendment was not accepted. Damian Crawford informed the House that it was the year of the whale, and the spirit that made people great was still alive. He mentioned the German bombing of Pearl Harbour (but was informed that it had in actual fact been the Japs all along!) A vote was taken and the motion was carried.

Brian Downes (3^rd Eng) proposed that he be sent to Peking to learn Chinese to write the letter. Martin Hanrahan seconded. Eoin Ó Maoileoin formally objected. Damian Crawford suggested that thereafter a copy of all motions should be sent in Chinese to the Communist Party chairman. A suggestion was made that the Corresponding Secretary be sent and best not brought back, and another that he be sent by registered post. A vote was taken but no decision reached.

Catríona Ní Mhurchú Oisín Fennell

Recording Secretary Auditor

The Chinese Embassy responded to the Society with a letter pleading that they capitulate from their threat of war. Unfortunately, for the purpose of this Journal, the letter could not be found. --- Ed.